Proud

Jennie, my youngest daughter, graduated from the University of Colorado this past Thursday. Debbie, Lauren, Charlie, Barbara, Larry and Jack all flew out to Colorado to witness the event. She was surrounded by family.

She was one of six hundred kids who graduated from the school of business. Jennie majored in Accounting. It was very cool to hear her name called out and to see the smile on her face. I’m so proud of her!

It’s hard to believe that 4 years has gone by this fast and that she’s done with school already. It felt like yesterday that we were bringing her stuff to the Kindrick dorm for her freshman year. We drove through the campus this past Friday…. for what felt like the last time. I felt tender and on the verge of tears.

The graduation ceremony caused me to pause and think about how I felt when I was done with school. It was an incredible feeling. No more classes. No more tests. No more homework. I was ready to get out. Then again, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. If I did, I probably would have stayed in school another year or two to fully enjoy that time of my life.

Jennie is still searching for what life after college will bring her. Debbie and I will support whatever choice she makes.

Until next time.
Passion Rules.

Sad State

I just got back today from attending the Gottman Institutes advanced training for marital therapy in Seattle. Dr John Gottman has been doing couples research since the 1970’s. They have done an amazing job of creating ‘tools’ that helps couples deal with their marital issues.

After spending 4 days focusing on relationship issues, I’m amazed that very few people are given the tools to know how to be in relationship with another person. Most of us throw ourselves into relationships and do the best we can to figure it out. And most of us aren’t very good at it.

The divorce rate, according the Census Bureau, is around 50% in the US. Think about that. Half the people who marry….QUIT………because that can’t live with the other person anymore.

Something is wrong.

Most couples, who are steep into relationship problems, wait for an average of 6 years before they seek any help. And by that time it becomes a ‘last ditch effort’ to save the marriage. And most of time it doesn't work.

The reality is that most of don’t know how to manage long-term relationships. It’s hard. I know that at times I'm a narcissist, controlling, selfish, egotistical, shithead in my relationship with Deb.

I’ve been married for 30 years now and I’m just learning about some tools that can make my relationship with Deb more intimate and less painful.

I walked away from this training with a deep desire to put together a program to teach these tools to kids who are planning on getting married. Maybe then they would have a better chance of staying together if they had practical tools they could work with.

Until next time. Passion Rules.

The Therapist

Deb and I decided that in order to continue to work on our relationship, we would go to therapy.....together. So we had our first session about a week ago. I liked it. And I liked doing it with Deb. However, after that session the therapist said she wanted to meet with just me. Alone. Oh shit. I guess I'm really screwed up and need some one-on-one attention. So I agreed.

I had my first one-on-one session yesterday. I wish Deb was there to be a part of it. Being on the receiving side of therapy reminded me that I'm good at telling other people what they should do to make their life better, but boy it's hard for me to hear things about me that I don't want to hear. Like how controlling and selfish I can be. Session 1 done. Session 2 coming up.

Today I'm in Seattle for some training. It's at The Gottman Institute and you'll never guess what it's for???

It's advanced study in Couples Therapy. Go figure! Over the next 4 days I'm in a workshop that will teach a method that helps troubled marriages. The workshop provides information about couples dynamics, marital assessment, couples exercises and therapeutic interventions.

So I'm surrounded by marital therapy right now. I guess it's what I need. I'll let you know how it goes.

Till next time......remember Passion Rules!