Sad State
I just got back today from attending the Gottman Institutes advanced training for marital therapy in Seattle. Dr John Gottman has been doing couples research since the 1970’s. They have done an amazing job of creating ‘tools’ that helps couples deal with their marital issues.
After spending 4 days focusing on relationship issues, I’m amazed that very few people are given the tools to know how to be in relationship with another person. Most of us throw ourselves into relationships and do the best we can to figure it out. And most of us aren’t very good at it.
The divorce rate, according the Census Bureau, is around 50% in the US. Think about that. Half the people who marry….QUIT………because that can’t live with the other person anymore.
Something is wrong.
Most couples, who are steep into relationship problems, wait for an average of 6 years before they seek any help. And by that time it becomes a ‘last ditch effort’ to save the marriage. And most of time it doesn't work.
The reality is that most of don’t know how to manage long-term relationships. It’s hard. I know that at times I'm a narcissist, controlling, selfish, egotistical, shithead in my relationship with Deb.
I’ve been married for 30 years now and I’m just learning about some tools that can make my relationship with Deb more intimate and less painful.
I walked away from this training with a deep desire to put together a program to teach these tools to kids who are planning on getting married. Maybe then they would have a better chance of staying together if they had practical tools they could work with.
Until next time. Passion Rules.
After spending 4 days focusing on relationship issues, I’m amazed that very few people are given the tools to know how to be in relationship with another person. Most of us throw ourselves into relationships and do the best we can to figure it out. And most of us aren’t very good at it.
The divorce rate, according the Census Bureau, is around 50% in the US. Think about that. Half the people who marry….QUIT………because that can’t live with the other person anymore.
Something is wrong.
Most couples, who are steep into relationship problems, wait for an average of 6 years before they seek any help. And by that time it becomes a ‘last ditch effort’ to save the marriage. And most of time it doesn't work.
The reality is that most of don’t know how to manage long-term relationships. It’s hard. I know that at times I'm a narcissist, controlling, selfish, egotistical, shithead in my relationship with Deb.
I’ve been married for 30 years now and I’m just learning about some tools that can make my relationship with Deb more intimate and less painful.
I walked away from this training with a deep desire to put together a program to teach these tools to kids who are planning on getting married. Maybe then they would have a better chance of staying together if they had practical tools they could work with.
Until next time. Passion Rules.
posted by John Drury at 4:45 PM
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