Engaged!

My youngest daughter Jennie called me on Friday night and told me that she got engaged.

Wow! I mean WOW!!!!

She sounded so happy. So excited. Ecstatic! It’s hard to describe the feeling I felt. My body had goose bumps all over and my eyes welled up. I think the first thing I said to Jennie was ‘OhmyGod’. And then ‘Congratulations!!! What an amazing feeling to be able to experience.

The thing is - I knew it was going to happen. Adam, her boyfriend, (here is a picture of him) came over the house on Thursday and told me he was going to ask Jennie to marry him. He told me that she was an amazing person, that he really loved her and that he was going to take care of her. I gave him a big ‘bear’ hug. Probably scared him. Then he showed me the ring. It is beautiful.

I didn’t know when he was going to pop the question to Jennie so the call on Friday night was a surprise.

I’m still absorbing the news. I guess I’ll really start freaking out when the day comes that I have to give here away…..for now I’m still working on the engaged part.

Until next time. Passion Rules.

Stunned

It was Thursday (12/14/06) morning at 8:30 and I was just about to start facilitating an off site meeting when my Dad called and told me the news, he said “Bruce Rendina died yesterday,” I was stunned. I was hit with a wave of emotions. Sadness. Anger. Guilt.

Bruce, 52 years old, (center in the picture) died on December 13. I met Bruce and Brian Hadar (right in the picture) at Florida State University in 1972. We lived in Kellum Hall on the 3rd floor. Bruce, Brian and I joined the same fraternity, we all majored accounting, we rented an apartment together, we played intramural sports together and we did a lot of partying together…a lot of partying. We spent so much time together we were nicknamed ‘The Three Musketeers’ – that’s the reason for the silly outfits in the picture. We were like brothers.

After graduation Bruce and I moved back to Fort Lauderdale and both joined Coopers & Lybrand as accountants. Over the years we slowly lost touch with each other. We would talk here and there; but we were so busy building our careers and families that we let our friendship fade away.

I saw Bruce last January. We had lunch together. It was the first time I had seen him in about 10 years. He told me he had an operation the previous September for a brain tumor and the doctors’ thought that he would be ok. They were wrong. One year later Bruce died.

When someone close to me dies, it always brings my life to a screeching halt. Death can be a wake up call. It forces me to reflect - deeply. It quickly puts my life in perspective. It can be amazing teacher.

Life is so precious and most of us take if for granted. We expect to live for a long time. We worry about trivial stuff and let it ruin our day or mess up our relationships. How dumb is that.

My life changed when I met Bruce, and now my life has changed again because of Bruce. His death has reminded me about how important is to live each day, being as present as possible, and to appreciate everyone and everything I have in my life.

Bruce - thanks for your friendship and all the gifts you’ve given me. YITB.

Until next time. Passion Rules.

Give

This woman was begging on the streets of NY. She had a cup that she was holding out hoping people would put something in it. I watched her for about a ½ hour. As most of you know the streets of NY have a constant flow of people. Hundreds & hundreds of people just past her by. Ignoring her like she wasn’t even there. During the time I was watching, 3 people put money in the cup.

Now NY has over 32,000 homeless people including 13,000 children. So a lot of people are on the streets begging. It seems as though we’ve numbed ourselves to them.

How hard is it to give something? Anything. Some change. A dollar.

Do judgments get in the way? Do beliefs get in the way? Are we so wrapped up in our lives that we don’t even notice that they exist? Do we even care anymore?

How do you react when you see someone like her? What does it bring up inside of you?

I’ve decided that I will give something to every person I see in need.

Think about it. Please.

Until next time. Passion Rules!

Grateful

I was in Cleveland last week for a retreat. When I arrived, I had some time to kill so I walked around the city to check it out. When I saw this woman, I stopped and stared. Probably not a nice thing to do. But she struck me. So many emotions hit me the moment I saw her. I felt sad for her. I felt guilty for staring. I felt pity. I felt grateful that I’m not handicapped. I felt helpless. I felt shame for taking what I have for granted.

It felt like she was in my life that day to remind me to appreciate what I have. (It’s amazing how others that cross my path can help me to reflect.) I know that I take the basic things I have in my life for granted. My legs work. My arms work. My hands work. My eyes work. My voice works. My heart works. My mind works. You get the idea. However I don’t think about, or appreciate, them everyday. This photo is a reminder to me to appreciate what I have. To appreciate all the gifts I have and not to take them for granted.

Until next time. Passion Rules.

Bag Head

I'm in the process of creating a 'Keynote' speech that I plan on using as a part of my speaking program. I need to get some 'props' as a part of the presentation.

So I sent an email to my good friend Mike Tesch, former Creative Director at my old advertising agency (Mike is also a Hall of Fame Art Director), and I asked Mike if he would help me find some of the props. One of the items on my prop list was a 'mask'.

Well he helped...in the unique and creative way that Mike does.

About 2 weeks later, I received an envelope in the mail from Mike. I opened it and a 'mask' was inside. It was this beautiful brown shopping bag with a face creatively drawn on one side. Mike had personally hand crafted this fine mask. Just for me!

So I put it on and voila! I was transformed into 'BAG HEAD'. At least he got the nose right.

I am still in search for a mask for my presentation. If any of you have any suggestions, put 'em in an envelope and mail 'em to me.

Until next time. BAG HEAD Rules!

Labels

This guy collects garbage in New York. I don't know him, but I know what he does. And I judge and label him by what he does, without even knowing who he is.

How often do we ask people, "What do you do?", and then judge them by the answer they give us. "Oh, I collect garbage for the city, it's a great job and I've been doing it for 10 years now." How would you react to that answer? Would you consider taking the time to get to know him as a person after knowing what he does for a living?

All my business life I was trying to give the best answer to the 'label' question. I wanted people to think that I was successful, important and smart. I was good at it and I knew how to 'work it'. What a game. What a waste of time. It's so superficial. I really didn't take the time to get to know other people and they didn't take the time to get to know me. I think that most relationships are that way.

I'm not playing that game anymore and I have different people in my life. I have people who are interested in an intimate relationship that goes beyond the superficial 'BS'. It is more rewarding and more fulfilling. I love it.

Try it sometime.

Until next time. Passion Rules!

Book Award

Exciting day today! The book won an award at the 2006 Annual Florida Publishers Association Presidents Book Awards. Very Cool! There were 11 different awards given out today. 'Awaken Your Soul' won for Best Design. It felt good to win in a category that recognized creativity. It reinforced to me that anyone can tap into their individual creativity and make something happen. The last thing I would have expected would be to get an award for creative design. Just 10 years ago art directors were throwing me out of the creative department of my own agency saying, " Leave the creative to us. You do the account stuff, we will do the creative work."

REVENGE!!! SWEET!

Until next time. Creative Passion Rules!

Damned Lucky

When I was in NY I took this photo of our flag on the side of a building around 56th & 3rd. It reminded me that I don't take the time to appreciate my country. I take it for granted. And most of the time I don't even think about it. I haven't know anything else. I haven't had my freedom taken away nor have I lived in fear of my government. So I don't have any prior experience to compare it to.

Based on what's going on around the world today, I'm sure loving and appreciating what I have and where I have it. With all the criticism that flies around about our country, we are still the damned luckiest people in the world.

Until next time...Passion Rules!

The Drive

Jennie and I drove from Boulder to Fort Lauderdale in 2 days. That's 2043 miles in 2 days. 1000 miles a day, or about 16 hours a day. Man that is a lot of driving.

It felt like the longest part of the drive was I-70 through Kansas. If felt like that state went on forever. Overall we drove through 7 states; Colorado, Kansas, Illinois, Missouri, North Carolina, Georgia and Florida.

We put all of Jennie's stuff in a 5'x 8' Uhaul. Soon after we started the trip the Uhaul would periodically start swaying back and forth. And it would cause the Jeep to sway. It was scary. I don't know what caused it, but I learned that if I sped up, then it would pull the Uhaul back into 'alignment', and stop the swaying. Now you can imagine that every hour or so the Uhaul would start swaying again. I'd have to slow down, then speed up to get it to stop. It was annoying as hell. And I didn't want Jennie drive because I didn't feel like she'd be able to manage it. And she felt uncomfortable with it. So I ended up driving the whole way home.

Jennie was great company. We played word games and she was the music DJ, but even at times she would get bored and antsy. It's uncomfortable to sit for 16 hours in a car. I have a new respect for truckers. I don't know how they do it. Sitting all day. The boredom of driving.

I'm grateful that we made it home safely and that we didn't have any issues on our drive home. I don't want to do it again.

Until Next Time....Passion Rules.

TheMove

Jennie and I flew to Denver last Thursday to 'clean out' her apartment. She's done with school, her lease is up August 1st and it is time to move her back home. It feels like yesterday that we were moving all this stuff into the apartment.

When we got to Boulder, the Jeep wouldn't start. Dead Battery. We got it jump started and then I brought it over to the dealership to get a new battery. After the repair, I made the trip over to the local Uhaul place to get the 5'x8' trailer. Got it... and we started loading up the Uhaul at about 3:00pm. Jen's apartment is on the 3rd floor, so it's a long 'haul' to the Uhaul in the parking garage.

It's amazing how much stuff one person can collect in one room. We got done at about 6:30pm, and Jennie went out to dinner with her friends while I got gas and a bite to eat.

We decided to leave that night to get a start on our 2043 mile trip back to Lauderdale. More on the trip next time.

Until Next Time. Passion Rules.

Magic

I am at the National Speakers Association Annual Meeting in Orlando. It's my first meeting. What an amazing collection of speakers. Some of the best in the world. It's helping me expand and grow my speaking capabilities.

I'm staying at the Marriott Orlando World Center which is just down the street from Disney World. This place is crawling with kids. They are everywhere and they have BIG smiles on their faces. They are literally bouncing around the hotel. They are with their families on vacation and they are loving every minute of it.

I feel a combination of tenderness and joy.

I feel tender because I miss doing this with my two daughters, Lauren and Jennie. We use to come up here on vacation and take them to the parks. They loved it. Dining with the characters and walking every inch of Disney World seeing everything from 'It's a small world' to the 'Dancing Bears Jamboree'. I miss holding their hands and when they would say, "up", "up"....daaaad.."up". I would carry them until my arms fell off. Visiting Disney was like going on an adventure.

I feel joy because I can I feel and see the how excited these kids are. They have a sense of wonder and magic that, as adults, we've lost. No wonder they call it the 'Magic Kingdom.' It's the kids that create the magic here. They believe in Mickey Mouse and Goofy. We don't. They believe in Tinker Bell and Sleeping Beauty. They live in such a spontaneous and creative world that most of us have shut down or rarely visit. Wow, what a cool place to be. I want more of it!

Being here is a great reminder to me to reclaim my little boy who just loves to play and have fun.

Let's do it again daddy!!

Until Next Time....Play Rules.

Helpless

My mom has been in a state of depression for the past 2 1/2 years. I feel helpless and sad. I want her to get better, but it seems that everything we try doesn't really make a difference. She is in a constant state of anxiety and she's not totally 'there' when your with her. She has this blank stare all the time and is numb to her feelings.

When I'm with her, I don't know what to do. I talk with her, but what I say doesn't seem to register with her. She gives me simple 'yes/no' answers. Not much else.

It's scary.

At times I find myself pushing myself away from her so that I don't have to face it.

I have to believe that deep down inside she knows that I love her and I want her get better. Deep down she is struggling to get out.

I still feel helpless.

First Show

I did my first radio show today on 1230 WBZT Talk Radio in Palm Beach FL. I was on the 'Creating Harmony with Medoly Smith' show. She was very cool. We talked about my book 'Awaken Your Soul'.

It was a nice opportunity to begin to get the message out about my work. It felt good.

Melody was a great person to be with. She made is easy and natural. She also understood what I'm trying to accomplish with the book, the retreats and the coaching work.

I also what to thank her for promoting the book and the web site. She must have mentioned it 4-5 times on the air.

The book is one way I can to be a catalyst for change and healing. Doing interviews is another. So this is the beginning of what will be many more interviews.

Until next time. Passion Rules.

Big City Lauren

I went to NY last week for my monthly YPO meeting. Debbie and I went up early so we could spend a few days with our daughter Lauren.

Lauren moved to NY last February. She quit her job in Fort Lauderdale, packed up her stuff and moved to the city. Within a couple of weeks she had a new job and her own apartment in Manhattan. I'm not sure I would have had the courage to do what she did when I was 24.

I really noticed this trip how much she's adjusted to the city. Taking the subway, going to New Jeresy and the Jersey shore for the weekends, moving around the city for shopping and eating. She's explored little Italy, Soho, Canal Street, Chinatown, Central Park etc....Impressive!

The city has an amazing energy and can be intimidating. Not to Lauren. She just went there and figured it out.

I'm proud of her and proud of what she doing with her life.

Love you Laur!!

Until next time. Passion Rules!

Ridicule

I was in Boulder, for Jennie's graduation, when I saw this woman walking toward me. I took two shots; only one came out. When she walked, her tongue was out the whole time and it was moving side to side.

Immedialty I could feel myself wanting to make fun of her. Laugh at her. Ridicule her. I could see other people looking at her, staring and laughing. There is a part of me that thinks I'm 'better than' other people.

I felt sad. I thought about how often I do that. I make fun of others or think I'm 'better than'.

It reminded me of when I did that back in grade school and high school. I would make fun of the kids who didn't fit in, who looked weird, or who acted different. When I think about it now, all I want to do is to apologize to each and every one of them for how I treated them. I didn't take the time to get to know them as people. I judged them by what I saw.

This woman reminds me to be aware of that part of me that is quick to judge others. And to be more empathetic, compassionate and humble toward others.

Until Next Time. Passion Rules.

I

Age

Recently I was is Athens Greece for a YPO retreat. One morning before we started, I was walking outside and I took this guys picture as he passed me in the street.

As I was working on this photo, he reminded me of this 'aging' thing I've been thinking about lately. Look at his eyes. And the sore just above his left eye. Hmmmm.

Now that I'm 52 and my body is aging, I've been thinking more about 'old age'. I have more awareness of the older people I see every day. I remember as a kid, I thought that someone who was 50 YEARS OLD was REALLY OLD. Now I'm there.

I keep telling myself...think young...think young. Then something happens to remind me that no matter how much I 'think young' my body is going to slowly continue to deteriorate. It's a part of the cycle of life. It is what it is.

Interesting process. More interesting is how we respond to it.

Until next time. Passion Rules.

Reflecting

Today I've been working on some photographs in Photoshop.

I took this picture when I was in NY with Jennie. We were walking down Canal Street, looking for purses, and this guy asked us for some money. So I gave him some in exchange for a few pictures.

Now I sit here at home, looking into his eyes and wondering about his life. What brought him to that stoop in NY? What's he been through in his life? What can I learn from this guy? Look at that beard. He's earned every bit of it.

I think I'm going to post a few photos like this one over the next couple of days. Maybe you can see something in their eyes that may mean something to you.

Until Next Time. Passion Rules.

Proud

Jennie, my youngest daughter, graduated from the University of Colorado this past Thursday. Debbie, Lauren, Charlie, Barbara, Larry and Jack all flew out to Colorado to witness the event. She was surrounded by family.

She was one of six hundred kids who graduated from the school of business. Jennie majored in Accounting. It was very cool to hear her name called out and to see the smile on her face. I’m so proud of her!

It’s hard to believe that 4 years has gone by this fast and that she’s done with school already. It felt like yesterday that we were bringing her stuff to the Kindrick dorm for her freshman year. We drove through the campus this past Friday…. for what felt like the last time. I felt tender and on the verge of tears.

The graduation ceremony caused me to pause and think about how I felt when I was done with school. It was an incredible feeling. No more classes. No more tests. No more homework. I was ready to get out. Then again, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. If I did, I probably would have stayed in school another year or two to fully enjoy that time of my life.

Jennie is still searching for what life after college will bring her. Debbie and I will support whatever choice she makes.

Until next time.
Passion Rules.

Sad State

I just got back today from attending the Gottman Institutes advanced training for marital therapy in Seattle. Dr John Gottman has been doing couples research since the 1970’s. They have done an amazing job of creating ‘tools’ that helps couples deal with their marital issues.

After spending 4 days focusing on relationship issues, I’m amazed that very few people are given the tools to know how to be in relationship with another person. Most of us throw ourselves into relationships and do the best we can to figure it out. And most of us aren’t very good at it.

The divorce rate, according the Census Bureau, is around 50% in the US. Think about that. Half the people who marry….QUIT………because that can’t live with the other person anymore.

Something is wrong.

Most couples, who are steep into relationship problems, wait for an average of 6 years before they seek any help. And by that time it becomes a ‘last ditch effort’ to save the marriage. And most of time it doesn't work.

The reality is that most of don’t know how to manage long-term relationships. It’s hard. I know that at times I'm a narcissist, controlling, selfish, egotistical, shithead in my relationship with Deb.

I’ve been married for 30 years now and I’m just learning about some tools that can make my relationship with Deb more intimate and less painful.

I walked away from this training with a deep desire to put together a program to teach these tools to kids who are planning on getting married. Maybe then they would have a better chance of staying together if they had practical tools they could work with.

Until next time. Passion Rules.

The Therapist

Deb and I decided that in order to continue to work on our relationship, we would go to therapy.....together. So we had our first session about a week ago. I liked it. And I liked doing it with Deb. However, after that session the therapist said she wanted to meet with just me. Alone. Oh shit. I guess I'm really screwed up and need some one-on-one attention. So I agreed.

I had my first one-on-one session yesterday. I wish Deb was there to be a part of it. Being on the receiving side of therapy reminded me that I'm good at telling other people what they should do to make their life better, but boy it's hard for me to hear things about me that I don't want to hear. Like how controlling and selfish I can be. Session 1 done. Session 2 coming up.

Today I'm in Seattle for some training. It's at The Gottman Institute and you'll never guess what it's for???

It's advanced study in Couples Therapy. Go figure! Over the next 4 days I'm in a workshop that will teach a method that helps troubled marriages. The workshop provides information about couples dynamics, marital assessment, couples exercises and therapeutic interventions.

So I'm surrounded by marital therapy right now. I guess it's what I need. I'll let you know how it goes.

Till next time......remember Passion Rules!